So it's monday annd I am here in my room doing absolutely nothing. Been waiting for phone calls all day.. trying to figure out how to get to work from here all the way from san bernardino to ontario. Let alone to just visit my boyfriend since I am now carless. Thinking about hanging out with some friends tomorrow and weds but I dont know if I feel like going out. Supposed to spend the night have some wine and then beach trip the next day. It does sound exciting when I have that one friend who is leaving for Berkeley thursday morning. It saddens me that I haven't got the chance to see her only for a few minutes friday night. But to know I wont see her much at all this year until winter break or possibly thanksgiving break it breaks my heart.
We were all such close friends and after junior college we just went our seperate ways keeping in touch through skype, email, texts which ever...and whenever I am in need of trouble I have no one to talk to..I mean I do but it's all through email and phone. For once i would like someone to just run to me when I need it. Like this weekend, I needed to see someone all day and everyone was either working or busy and it really bummed me out how I couldn't just talk to anyone..let alone i didnt have a car and no one was willing to come see. Other than one of my cousins she totally lagged it I understand she was having fun with her friends for her early 30th but today she said she would take me out and i just gave up. I had a feeling that she would forget and I wasn't going to keep bothering her because I know how busy she is sometimes. *sighs* like i really feel like i fell in a deep hole...I dont have means of transportation anymore the only choices I have is the metro and busses when really I dont enough money to begin with to pay them.
Things have been running through my mind alot lately and I know that people have told me before to just keep my head up and that things would get better and to be honest everytime I did keep my head and hoped for the best something else went wrong and the ending results are nothing but screams and foul language and no terms to agree to.
And in all..I miss my boyfriend..even though I just seen him last friday before all the wreck happened I just really miss his hugs, his smile, his voice...everything...and Im so eager to just hop on the bus right now and get the metro but it just so much effort to keep track of the times and making sure I make it on time.
So now this concludes my post. I'm starting to feel very woozy and drowsy from this medicine I took a couple of minutes ago just because I thought I was getting sick. I mean i was sneezing all morning and my nose had a major sinus problem.
I miss everything, everyone.
The most thing that I miss is being able to paint what I'm feeling right now..but I dont earn enough to buy any supplies. I miss it. A lot.